https://discord.gg/jf5m9s9

https://youtu.be/H9zzhkNeivs

I think a lot about penis. More than I'd like to admit. So I'm admitting it here. Penis is something that consumes an unreasonable amount of my day to day thoughts. My own penis in particular. To be more specific, the size of my penis, naturally. The massive weight of the shaft portion...the hefty swing it brings to the table, loudly cracking the wood surface, dropping the jaws of the shocked home invasion victims. I'm going to jail tonight.

I just let my UTI's pass. I don't take any meds for em.

I've gone a very long time being the type of guy who rarely ever complains or gossips, (about anything) and laughs in the face of those who do. I never thought of it as something that makes me special or above anyone. It was more that I felt by avoiding acknowledging the negatives, I was helping others. This type of attitude has also given me a wealth of rewards in my life as I am now a father of two at a pretty young age. And I want more children. I want to lead my community by example, and make life look easy. My hope is that this will inspire people to make the EASY good personal choices that would lift us all up, especially as fallen Westerners.

However, this method I've used -while productive certainly- isn't enough. I've been seeing some weaknesses in it and moreso recently. These lyrics from an Oingo Boingo song come to mind often.

Where is he going - why does he walk that way

Sticking his chest out - what is he trying to say

He's got charisma - but when he's all alone

He curls up in a ball - and wishes that he was

Home Again...Home Again...Home Again

It isn't enough to simply NEVER COMPLAIN or TRY NOT TO GOSSIP. As both an artist and a father, I need to be developing a bigger and stronger capacity to love what I have and find joy in pushing my body and mind for MORE. Somewhere around highschool I just went "Put your head down. Don't complain.". It's a good start but the problem is it has no real incentive, and it's a defense mechanism in a way. It tells you that you don't deserve more and shouldn't expect more. And you do need more. The people around you are depending on you to uplift them. And it starts with you and me pushing ourselves to new limits and fucking looking forward to it.

Anyways currently I'm training for the 9 mile Tough Mudder in June, and I'm launching my website very soon.

K bye.